In the past few weeks, I have been invited to attend several networking events. Is it because I am a great conversationalist and stunningly popular? No, it’s because networking is all the rage at the moment.
As a small business owner, who happens to be a woman, a mother and a part-time company director, which event(s) do I attend? Well, the obvious choice would be the one with the free booze, no joining or membership fee, and the place where I’ll get the biggest return on my investment, which, in this case, is my time.

However, for the purposes of this article, and because I don’t get out much, I attended various sessions to see whether I could grow my business and make some meaningful contacts and leads. I give my verdict on three of the most memorable sessions.

At my first event, I had a delicious breakfast as a reward for putting lip-gloss on and being ready to greet the world at 7am. I attended a structured group who meet fortnightly and whose sole purpose is to hand out referrals to others around the table. There was an ‘educational’ slot, a bit of fun (although not for me as I don’t do humour first thing in the morning) and a request to make a $650 contribution to join the group if I wanted to become a member. I am still thinking about that one. However, I did meet a man who might have some work for me in 2011; so maybe, just maybe, it was worth showing up.

The second network session was an evening affair. We had a talk on what networking is not, which was extremely informative, although the advice about being selfless and not talking ‘me, me, me’ didn’t exactly sit comfortably with the self-promotional concept of networking. By the end of the evening, I had learnt that networking involves standing up, talking to a limited number of people, but having meaningful conversations with them, and that quality outweighs quantity when it comes to the collection of business cards. I have no leads to report on yet.

The third event was in complete contrast to the ‘quality’ philosophy of the previous event. Here, the concept of being a ‘network whore’ was introduced – my words and not theirs, I hasten to add. Work the room, baby, meet as many people as you can in two hours, give out your whole stack of 500 cards and collect at least the same number from everyone else there. Although I have yet to pick up any new business from this session, it did provide me with a laugh. I was chatting to a lady who actually bent down to talk to me. OK, so I’m five feet one inch, but bending down to talk to me! She patted my stomach before walking away, which reminded me that I really need to buy a t-shirt that says, ‘I’m fat, not pregnant’.

Originally printed in Her Business Magazine
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Marketing tools such as plans, strategies, SWOTs, brand keys and the like are about as funny as a really bad hangover, although I have laughed a few times at the growth forecasts included in many a new business plan.

Having considered the psychology, read the theses and the clinical studies, and attended the seminars and workshops, I’ve concluded that a lot of money has been spent trying to analyse whether comedy in advertising actually does work. To me, this is all rather academic and irrelevant. What really matters is whether the ability to make someone chuckle converts to a sale.

There’s a great deal of theory, but what about the practice? Well, before beginning to create a communication piece (funny or not), first, make sure you have a few of the basics in place. Know your brand and think about how you want your customers to see your product or service. Is your brand trustworthy, reliable, clever, funny or irreverent? Be clear about to whom you want to talk. Are they old, young, male, or female? What do they watch? Where do they shop? Give them a reason to buy your product or service – do you offer value for money, cost savings, great taste and excellent design?

When it comes to comedy, before you sign off on your hilarious new communication piece or ad campaign, have a think about the following:

• Is it actually funny? What you find amusing may not make everyone fall about laughing.
• Is your ad offensive or in poor taste? Not everyone wants to ‘Crack a Woody!’
• Will you alienate any of your potential audience with your humour?
• Will the joke wear thin after repeat showings? I still laugh at that Mitre 10 TV ad with the kids talking about putting up a retaining wall, with the great line ‘Mate, you’re dreamin’. The Mitre 10 Mega ad, by contrast, with the chap in orange running around with people over his shoulder is enough to make me change channels and the concept certainly doesn’t improve the more I see it.
• Is it on brand and aimed at the target audience?
• Will the communication piece stay at the front of customers’ minds for the right reasons?

It’s important they remember the brand and what is on offer.
When it comes to a company that succeeds in using comedy as a great way of communicating with their audience, I have to raise a glass to Tui. In the lead-up to Valentine’s Day, I saw one of their huge poster boards on the Southern Motorway saying, ‘Roses $1 special all week. Yeah right!” Forgive me if I am re-wording, I was driving at the time, but you get the gist.

Why are the Tui ads so good?

1. They are topical, relevant, clever, fun and engaging.
2. They appeal to the core target market (I would suggest that’s males 18-25) but to a wider audience also (in this case a 40-year-old mum).
3. They are cheeky, irreverent, sometimes a little bit naughty, but fairly inoffensive – well, maybe not to Tony Veitch, who probably didn’t laugh much when the guys at Tui erected a billboard during his infamous court case saying, ‘Here’s 100 grand. Keep it quiet. Yeah right!’
4. They have the ‘talkability’ factor. They go beyond the billboard, and the messages are shared anecdotally among friends and colleagues.
5. The creative style is consistent. It’s simple and the branding is easily recognisable.

So, back to my original question. Has the Tui billboard campaign created a massive uplift in sales? I don’t know. Perhaps the marketing manager at Tui Breweries can drop me a line, and a crate of beer. Yeah right!

Originally published in Her Business Magazine
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Love him or hate him, this kitchen maestro has raised the profile of Progressive Enterprises supermarkets hugely in the past six months. This brings me neatly onto the subject of marketing – a word that seems to cause nothing but confusion and even fear to many small to medium-sized business owners and managers who ask: what is it, how can I do it, what will it do for me and, more importantly, how much will it cost?

For the past 15 years, I have been persuading companies in the United Kingdom to part with cash in order to inform their customers about their products and services. These companies invested and saw tangible returns in the form of increased sales and greater profits. I have spent the past six months in New Zealand trying to do the same thing with SMEs, and have discovered that a Kiwi and their wallet are seldom parted.

Advertising and marketing works – fact. If you don’t believe me, ask the marketing managers at the top 10 companies around the globe (whilst you’re at it, ask them what their annual marketing spend is). At a time when customers are continuing to tighten their purse strings, now is the time to set aside a marketing budget and invest in spreading the word about what your company has to offer.
As a starting point, I thought it would be useful to put together a top five marketing tips list. So here it is:

Set objectives
Before undertaking any kind of marketing, advertising or PR activity, set some goals. Do you want to increase in-store traffic? If so, what is your footfall now and what would you like it to be? Do you want to up basket spend? Do you want to increase inbound calls? If you set parameters, it’s easier to see what you have achieved at the end of the activity.

Ring-fence a marketing budget
Just as you know how much your annual building lease is, so you should know how much you would like to spend on advertising for your business. As a guide, I would suggest not less than 20 percent of your annual turnover.

Define your target market
The most important people involved in your business are not your employees but in fact the people that pay for your products and services. Who are they, what are they interested in, what do they do, why do they give you money?

How do you reach your target market?
Where will you find them and how should you talk to them? Not everybody can afford a television ad, so you might have to be clever. The good news is that there are many ways of talking to potential and existing customers, and some of them don’t cost a thing. Never forget the power of ‘word of mouth’.

Evaluate
Always measure how successful your marketing activity has been. Revisit your original objectives and see if you have achieved your goals. It’s important to identify what worked and what didn’t, for future activity. You should also look at return on investment. You may be able to afford more on your marketing budget next time around than you thought.
And there you have it, New Zealand. If you’re still in a quandary about committing to marketing, I’ll leave you with the wise words of Thomas Jefferson:

“The man who stops advertising to save money is like the man who stops the clock to save time.”